Day 31

Well, I've been on my routine for a full month now! No growth yet, but I'm staying optimistic. My boobs have actually been feeling slightly bigger for the part two or three days. However the difference is so slight that I sometimes think I'm imagining it. Other times I feel like they look exactly the same and I convince myself that the only reason I'm occasionally thinking they look bigger is because I'm so aware that I'm on NBE. I think I have a placebo effect going on.

Anyway, I'm really bad at keeping all of this a secret. Today my mother found my bottles of herbal extracts. I had them hidden in a closet behind a whole bunch of other bottles. People hardly ever look for things in that closet and when they do, they usually don't move so many things around. Well it just so happened that my mother needed the bottle right in front of my extracts. Not recognizing them, she asked me if they were mine. I admitted that they were, but I lied and told her that they were for my teas. I said that they came together with the teas and that the instructions said that I was supposed to put a few drops into each.

She seems to have believed it, but I bet she's a little suspicious. My teas are in the kitchen and my extracts were in a closet in the bathroom. She probably thinks it's a bit weird that I placed these things so far apart. I doubt that she's automatically going to jump to the conclusion that I'm trying to make my breasts grow, because she knows nothing about NBE or the herbs I'm using. But I highly doubt she doesn't realize that something fishy is going on.

She's acting like she doesn't suspect anything though.

What I REALLY have to make sure she doesn't find are my pills. Now THAT she would not take lightly. Nor could I pin that on my "teas." She would flip out like nobody's business. I'm definitely going to have to hide those better.

Moving on to my routine, I've decided to start taking my borage oil internally, but I'm going to keep massaging with fenugreek. The day before yesterday I attempted to take the fenugreek extract by just putting some drops on my tongue, but that plan was busted right after the FIRST drop. It turns out that my extracts have alcohol in them and as soon as that one drop landed in my mouth, my tongue started stinging like crazy. I didn't even swallow it because I didn't think it would be good for me. I just washed and rinsed my mouth out with water.

The instructions on the extract bottles say that I'm supposed to put 10-15 drops in a glass of water and drink it, but I'm already drinking teas so I'm just going to keep massaging with it. I know that I could actually do what I told my mom I was doing and actually put some of the extract into my teas, but somehow I think that this would make them taste terrible so I won't.

It's not that bad anyway. Without the borage oil, the smell of my mixture isn't nearly as strong. I smell a bit syrupy, but I can fix that by wearing more "closed" shirts.

The day before yesterday I massaged with only vitamin e lotion, wild yam, and fennel and I almost couldn't smell it at all. Last night I massaged with the fenugreek and I can smell it a bit, but it's bearable.